Life of Mine

Let The New Chapter Begin!

Today was supposed to be my last day.  I was looking forward to the last day of work and saying goodbye to all the friends I have made over the past year.  Well, I wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye but I wanted to. 

I had to call off!  On my last day!  This is a prime example of why I had to quit in the first place though!  My manager was totally cool with it though since we are really slow today in the catering world. 

I will still be going in today to say bye to everyone and take in the company cell phone that I’ve been handling all week while my direct manager has been on vacation. 

I will be taking the kids with me which will be nice so all my coworkers can meet the munchkins that I talk about all the time. 

I know that I will cry when I have to say goodbye to a few of the people.  We have gotten so close and share wonderful friendships.  Like I said in a previous post, I have never had such a hard time leaving a job before.  The people I work with are just great.  So supportive and kind. 

So, as I go to turn in the phone and sign the resignation papers, a new chapter in my life begins. 

It is exciting mixed with some apprehension, we have gotten so used to my additional income that we will have to adjust to having less money. 

However, my husband said that the house will run smoother, the kids will be happier, the glue of the house will be back.  In the big picture, that is worth more than any paycheck I will ever earn.

Getting Back to Myself

Since I had started working, my working out has suffered. 

I have gained weight despite the amount of walking I was doing at work.  When we moved, I knew that I would be really busy so I put a freeze on my gym membership so I wouldn’t be totally wasting the money for the monthly fee if I wasn’t going.  Nevermind the few months before that that I went only a handful of times a month!

Well, we are settled into the house, the work thing is almost done and I am so ready to get back to the gym on a regular basis!  I have actually missed going and doing the fun classes or running on the treadmill. 

 I am confident I can get back to being myself again and losing the 10 lbs. that I have gained in the last year.  I feel terrible and frumpy.  I need to get back to myself, I deserve it and I will do it.

I just looked at the class schedules and I look forward to the days and times that I will be going.  I am probably going to do more morning workouts so that I can have the rest of the day ahead of me knowing I had worked hard.  That way, I won’t totally ruin the workout by eating unhealthy. 

I will probably also start back up with the Sisterhood challenges.  I enjoy them and feel so much more accomplished when I can share my excitement with that group of ladies.  They just started a challenge so I will catch them on the next one.

My goals?  Yes, I have them already. 

*Lose ten pounds

*Run more

*Tone up everything that has gone flabby…..yuck!

*Be a hot mama!

I have to say that you are in for hearing about my gym days, just a warning!  It could get really boring!

It is never easy to ask for help

*BEFORE YOU READ THIS PLEASE KNOW THAT I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS ON THIS POST.  WE ALL NEED HELP AT SOME POINT IN OUR LIVES.*

Have you ever met someone who is just so positive and so uplifting right when you need it?  I have. 

Her name is Shynea and I have mentioned her a few times….okay more than a few times! 

She just had a baby less than a month ago!  Her first little girl after having four boys!  Whew, she has her hands full…so happy but full!

She is on maternity leave until the end of August.  Unpaid maternity leave.  She has no income coming in and bills need paid. 

It breaks my heart to hear that an eviction notice could be coming her way and her electricity shut off if those bills don’t get paid.  Yet, with no income, she simply cannot pay them.

You can read her post here but she is asking for help.  When you have kids and the difference between having a home and not having a home lies in asking for help, well you ask for help. You do what is necessary to survive. 

I thought I would reach out to my readers as well and ask if anyone is able to help Shynea out.  She appreciates it so very much as do I.

A Month of Memories

As my time at work is dwindling down, I am getting both sad and extremely happy. 

I think about the time I will be able to spend with my kids until they go back to school and my heart feels so full of happiness.

We have a full month to do the things that we’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had the time.  We plan on going to the park, going to the zoo, going to the pool and having picnics for lunch.  Simple things that a lot of people don’t have a seond thought about.  These are the memories of childhood that I want my kids to have.  I don’t want them to look back on their childhood and say, I had to get up early every morning, we were with other people besides my mom and dad, I didn’t do anything fun because we didn’t have the time, etc.

I am so darn excited to turn things around.  Life will be back to our normal again. 

I am so thankful for the job I’ve had for the past year, I am thankful for the friendships I’ve gained.  Those will always be in my heart and hopefully they will last forever. 

I will cry on my last day, I already know this.  When people at work talk about it, I get all teary eyed.  I am really more emotional about this than I ever thought I would be. 

So many people at work, not even in my company….maintenance guys, IT guys, customers have said how much they are going to miss me and how upset they are to know that I am leaving.  That means so much to me.  I really never thought that so many people would have such a reaction to my leaving.  Maybe that is why it is so hard on me. One of the facilities guys said that the sun won’t shine as bright after I leave.  How sweet. 

Now I realize that they could all just be saying it but really I am just overwhelmed by the kindness from them.  I really appreciate it. 

Also on my list of things I am going to do?…..get back in the gym on a regular basis!!  I will be able to go to all the morning classes again and I couldn’t be more excited to get back in shape! I have about ten pounds to lose and lots to tone up to get back to where I was before so I will be working hard on that!

Social Media Meetup

There is a very fun group of ladies and some guys in the Pittsburgh area that meet up regularly to just talk, spend time face to face and have fun. 

I signed up to be a part of the group so that I could someday meet up with everyone.  For a year or more now, I have never been able to go.  I don’t have a very social life but I swear every single time they had something going on, so did I and I had to miss the gathering. 

Until this past Friday! 

It just happened to be hosted by Ikea in Pittsburgh and I was just too excited to go and meet several ladies for the first time!  I talk to a majority of them on Twitter so I was overly excited to introduce myself and chat it up with them. 

Something that is so funny about it is, I was thinking when I saw the nametags that I wasn’t going to really know anyone because sadly, I know them all by their Twitter names.  :/ So, I was relieved when I heard someone say that we should write our Twitter names on the nametag as well to help out!  Thank goodness because then I was like, ah huh!  I know her and her and her, etc.

I had a great time  and enjoyed spending a few hours with other women and also on the way there and back chatting with Jen.  She was kind enough to pick me up and drive me there.  She’s so freaking fabulous like that!  Also, as my mom said, she is so stinkin cute with her baby belly!!

Thanks, Jen and all the other Burgh Moms for the great evening!

Answered

In an effort to figure out what exactly I needed to do with the whole kids, working, babsitter situation…I prayed. 

I asked God for an answer, for direction.  I know that I am not in control of everything.  I needed the answer.

Today, I believe that God answered my question.  He gave me the answer plain and clear.

My Mother-in Law told me today that she can no longer watch the kids.  I had said a very long time ago that if she were to ever tell me that she cannot watch the kids, I would quit working. 

How about that for an answer?! 

God is good and I thank Him for guiding me in this tough situation.

I know for sure that I am making the right decision in giving my employer my two weeks’ notice. It won’t be easy and I may get emotional over it but I know I have to do it.

Spinning

I feel dizzy.  There have been so many changes in the past two months that I swear I am spinning.

I can handle change, I really can.  I’m not one to be resistant to change but right now,  I am struggling with everything that has been going on.

I need to quit my job but I don’t know if we can handle that change….the lack of my paycheck.  We’ve always done without  a paycheck from me but we are now used to that money and things have been good.  I fear that they will go downhill very quickly if I have no money coming in. 

I have posted on Craigslist, I have responded to ads online for families looking for childcare.  Nothing so far. 

In the process of thinking about quitting my job, I think of my co workers and how the people in the catering department need me and will really struggle without me.  No, I don’t think I am super fabulous or anything but we are short handed as it is now so for me to leave, would be horrible for them and I can’t help but feel guilty about it. 

I am actually going to be in charge of catering two weeks from now while my manager is on vacation..so they are relying on me for that. 

However, I guess when you are making decisions based on the needs of your family, you have to distance yourself from the result of your decisions and how they may affect your co workers.  My co worker just did that last week as she said goodbye to us.  I know that they would understand my point and why I would be doing it. 

I’m just not ready to give up yet.  I really want to find something solid before leaving a full time job. 

My Mother-in-law has been in and out of the hospital this month which is why I have been even thinking about this extensively.  I  no longer have a babysitter and cannot fathom paying a daycare more than half of what I earn for childcare.  I have been lucky thus far with having family and friends to watch my kids.  I fear that my luck is running out and it may be time to realize that it is no longer worth it. 

I don’t know how much longer we can continue on doing what we are currently doing. 

My head is spinning from all the decisions that need to be made.  The most simple solution would be for me to go in tomorrow and say, “I quit” but it just isn’t that simple afterall.

Better Late Than Never

A few months ago, I posted about taking part in a fun and fashioable challenge. I have sucked at actually participating! haha.

It started back in April I believe and runs for six months. 

I never actually even posted for the first month!  I did buy a great dress in June after I searched and tried on five bajillion dresses. 

I love to shop at TJ Maxx, not as much as I used to because I have been having a hard time finding stuff I really like. 

I found a dress there though and I am finally wearing it for the first time today.  Chuck informs me that I am smoking hot sexy in the dress….but he is biased!  haha.

It is summery, lightweight and comfortable…perfect for the hot days we have right now! 

It is sort of blurry but Chuckie took the picture for me.

I did buy the dress at TJ Maxx and get this, it only cost me $9.99!!!  Woot woot!  I do feel a little weird buying clothes in the Junior department but I’m glad I spotted this dress!

So Much on the Plate

We are still very excited about all the extra space we have here at our new home.  We want to share the celebration and excitement with our family and friends. 

We decided before we even moved to have a big party to celebrate this big event.  It was tough moving and things aren’t all put away yet but we have the party planned! 

I love planning events and parties so this is right up my alley! This is going to be a big party, and I mean B-I-G! 

I have already invited quite a few people but I need to make up some flyers and sent out paper invitations to family that lives in Pittsburgh who aren’t online.

The thing about this party is, we still have so much to do around here but really, my mentality at this point is…it’s okay.  People will understand if all our pictures are not hung up, if all the rooms we intended to paint are not painted.  People will understand. Besides, we are going to be outside more than inside

The other thing is, we are having Lincoln’s third birthday party the week before the big party!  We are just plain crazy apparently!

I am excited to go buy all the party supplies, especially since we are planning on doing kid activities like sack races, balloon toss and other fun stuff. 

The food part of the party, will not be fun. I am going to ask the chef at work about easy foods that are great for large quantities of people….we are expecting nearly 100 people at this big party! 

Chuck does not want to be cooking on the grill because he wants to fully enjoy the party himself.  We will be seeing people that we haven’t seen in a very long time….possibly including his uncle who lives in Hawaii!

We are looking forward to unwinding with our favorite people and family members.

Weighing On My Shoulders

Life is tough, that is nothing new.  That is true for everyone, whether they are single, married, kids, no kids, young, old, etc. 

Lately, I have been really pondering what is truly important in my life.  I know what is at the top of my list, the same thing that always has been there.  My family.  My husband and kids will always come first. 

As you know, I work full time outside of the home.  It was rough at first, but I have the luxury of working Monday through Friday and I am done with work in the early afternoon.  There are some really great things about where I work and there are really bad factors to my work. 

Since school has let out and we have moved, I have been waking my kids up at 5:15am everyday to take them to my Mother-in-law’s house.  That is very early for the kids, especially when they are on summer break from school.  This time of year is supposed to be fun and they are supposed to burn off all their energy outside.  That is not happening.  They are tired and crabby.

I am tired and crabby. 

I feel really bad about making them get up early.  That and babysitter issues has brought me to a place where I am seriously considering finding a new job.  One that allows my kids to wake up later.  One that allows me to spend a little more time with the kids. 

Obviously, we still need the money that I am currently making and switching jobs could mean making less money.  It could also mean different hours, working later in the day but not evenings or weekends. 

I have thought about watching kids in my home for parents looking for someone who isn’t a daycare.  I also thought about the fact that if I needed to take my kids to the doctor for an illness, that would be impossible if I were watching more than one child in my home.  There were too many negatives about this option. 

But, I am still open to the idea of watching a baby or kids.  My friend found a great nanny position on Care.com and told me to check it out.  You can enter in your zip code and find families looking for a nanny/babysitter. 

I was a little disappointed to see a lot of families who live so close but the hours wouldn’t work for us….at the end of the month, we start football in the evenings and then dance starts in September.  Plus, Lincoln will be starting preschool in September and that starts at 12:30pm. 

I logged on today and found the perfect opportunity.  The days and hours are absolutely perfect!  The kids could sleep in and even leave from here to get on the bus instead of going to my MIL’s house in the mornings! 

I am not sure what to do but I did respond to that ad to say that I was interested.  I am not going to get my hopes up but at the same time it really opened my eyes up to the possibility that I could really be changing jobs. 

I have so many reasons to stay where I am working.  Hello, I just earned my week paid vacation yesterday! I love the people I work with and it is something that I love to do. At the same time, I love my kids more and I have to do what is right for them and myself. 

My family will come first and making adjustments so that we are all happy, while they can be tough, are my priority.